Third and Long

So after a long hiatus, I’m finally back. Honestly, it’s my fault. I went and told the press that my webhost wasn’t involving me enough in the blogosphere, and after a strong first two posts, now people are questioning whether or not I was going to cause controversy and implosion with my sports blog. It’s understandable that the press would jump to such conclusions. I did call my first blog “gay” and said that my other blog “choked under pressure” during important posts. My last stop, really, was this blog, and before the first post, people thought I had attempted suicide when I had an allergic reaction to some sleeping pills.

Okay.

I lied.

All of this never happened to me. It happened to Terrell Owens.

Then why have you been gone, James? What took you away from the wonderful world of sports blogging? Well, voice of the people, I honestly have no excuse. Except for fantasy football. The one piece of evidence I have going my way is that I’m 5-0 in fantasy football, and…that other than that, I have no life. But, on the other side of the coin, Week 6 of the NFL is about to kickoff tomorrow morning, and quite a few teams are playing out of their gourds, and as a test of sports knowledge, every Saturday evening I’ll post the lines of Sunday’s games, with my three predictions. The following day, when the events of the NFL are covered, we’ll see how well I did, and if I have any idea of what I’m talking about…

ON TO THE BOOKIE PLAY!

Chicago Bears (-3) at Atlanta Falcons           You’re gonna tell me that after Kyle Orton has looked absolutely man-tastic, and with the Bears defense feeling an ’06 revival that Matt Ryan is going to beat this team? Because Michael Turner sure isn’t…at least not alone, and with a Bears offense with Matt Forte and Kyle Orton not playing turnover ball, three points seems like a pretty small gap for the Bears. Expect a 7-10 point win. Just because you beat a banged-up, dislocated shoulder’d Rodgers doesn’t make you a playoff contender. Yet. Green Bay Packers (-1) at Seattle Seahawks           Did I miss a game-time memo? When did Seattle become impressive? I know that coach Mike Holmgren gave the troops a talk this past week, but getting Bobby Engram back at WR just means the defense definitely knows who the ball is going to. Even after a loss to the Falcons last week, I still expect a 10-13 point win by the Pack. Carolina Panthers (+1½) at Tampa Bay Buccaneers            I’m getting a strong feeling that Jake Delhomme is going to have one of those seasons like he had going to the Super Bowl years back. Maybe it’s because the offense is healthy, maybe it’s because of the rotation of the planets. I know, however, that Jeff Garcia, despite signing my football and living with a playmate, still has some dust on him from the bench he’s been sitting on since the start of the season. I’m guessing a 7-10 point win from a strong passing effort from Delhomme. 

Well…we’ll see if I’m proved wrong. If this blog seems a little less stable than my last few, know that I’ve written two articles for my school paper today, so my hands are a little tired. Also, I’m looking forward to the possibility of 6-0 in fantasy football…Whoa, slow down. One game at a time, James Belichick. 

I’m not calling myself an expert in offensive line coaching, nor am I a quarterback specialist…but I’m pretty  sure that Jon Kitna should not be in that position…and neither should his helmet or the rest of his ragdollish body. 

Looking at today’s title, aside from a few standout quarterbacks (Brett Favre, Bart Starr, Jim McMahon, Fran Tarkenton, and healthy Daunte Culpepper), the NFC North has mostly been known for its standout defenses and not so much its quarterback play. Well, possibly because of collusion between NFC North owners, if the formula isn’t broken, don’t fix it, so the NFC North currently has 1.75 competent quarterbacks out of 4. Confused with that number? So am I, so let’s break it down!

Green Bay (2-1) has a top five defense to match a top ten offense, with Ryan Grant in the backfield and veteran Donald Driver as well as James Jones and Greg Jennings lining up at the receiver positions. Aaron Rodgers, the man trying to dig himself out of the Favre shadow, has shown himself in his past three starts (and in his efficient performance against Dallas last year) to be the sole competent quarterback in the NFC North. Congrats, Aaron! All those years on the bench finally paid off…I guess. 

1 Quarterback

With Jon Kitna at the helm, the Lions (0-3) have been…well, basically awful. Their opponents have almost doubled them in points, they’ve yet to get a win, and Matt Millen wants the team to “stay the course”…meaning that as long as there’s a place in Hell for Millen, the Lions will stay the course there with him. The saddest part about the mess in Detroit is the fact that Jon Kitna is a semi-competent quarterback. He realizes that with two freaks as wideouts in Calvin Johnson and Roy Williams that he can play pitch and catch and still throw for 250 yards a game. The downside? Teams realize this, and since Detroit has neither the running game of an NFC North team nor the defense, opposing defenses also only need to play pitch and catch.

1.5 Quarterbacks

The Minnesota Vikings (1-2) for a lot of people were supposed to be the NFL’s dark horse team, one that would snatch the NFC North from Green Bay’s expecting, Favre-less hands. Of course, then Tarvaris Jackson took the first snap from center for the 2008 season, and now the team resides at 1-2, with Jackson no longer the starter? The starter? Gus Frerotte, the man known for…running his head into a wall during a Monday Night Football game, spraining his neck…on purpose. Hmm…with my options being that or Jackson, with a 12-17 touchdown/INT ratio for his career…I choose to take my own life.

1.75 Quarterbacks

So seriously. It can’t get worse that the quarterbacking situation for the Vikings…can it? Well, let me introduce you to the Chicago Bears (1-2). A team that has had quarterbacking problems the past three years, 2008 training camp had the quarterbacks starting preseason games and being decided the starter after…a coin flip. I wish I was joking. When undrafted rookie Caleb Hanie came into camp, Lovie Smith probably wished that he had a three-sided coin. Rex Grossman. Kyle Orton. Caleb Hanie. Sorry if you get associated with bad influences, Caleb, but I can’t acknowledge this as a quarterbacking unit.

1.75 Quarterbacks

Well, now that the quarterbacks are settled, ready for my CliffsNotes?

NFC North=Run Games & Defense (Detroit did not get this memo).  

At least tomorrow I get to cover the…NFC West? Ugh…I really hope this gets better before it gets worse… 

UPDATE: Matt Millen has been fired. Perhaps the Lions can reach purgatory after all! 

After having a weekend where I could actually relax and watch all four games on basic cable (as Jimmy Kimmel loves to remind me every 15 minutes), I could FINALLY write about football knowing that I wasn’t missing anything. If you were one of the few who actually believed Joey Porter’s talk about beating the Patriots...then I’d call you a liar. Same for if you told me Brian Griese would throw 67 passes in a game. And win. OR if you boisterously claimed “Oh sure, the Falcons are for real this year.” Well, I wouldn’t call you a liar just yet…we still have 14 weeks to go, after all.What is interesting though is that in three short weeks, we have many divisions that are completely flipped upside-down from what they’ve been for years. So, in regards to our title, every day we’re going to  take a look at a different division in the NFL to make sure exactly what is going on.And why the 49ers and Cardinals are tied for first in the NFC West.

NFC EAST

To keep it simple, the NFC East is one of the few divisions displaying normalcy. An impressive showing against Green Bay (2-1) kept Dallas (3-0) undefeated, keeping them atop the division. While the Giants (3-0) also squeaked out a victory in Cincinnati (0-3), the degree of difficulty in terms of opponents has me placing the defending Super Bowl champions below Philadelphia (2-1), whose defense had a coming out party against a contender in the AFC in the Steelers (2-1). Don’t agree with me? Take a look at the opponents both teams, NY and PHI, have faced:

PHI: PIT, DAL, STL

NY: CIN, WAS, STL 

With these three teams out of the way, WAS (2-1) takes third after losing inside the division as well as beating teams with no defense by a seven point margin each.The NFC East easily is the most competitive division in the NFC, with no teams under .500, and with the only two remaining undefeated teams in the NFC, but what’s interesting to note is the amount of young talent that the teams have drafted this past year. Felix Jones of DAL pictured above is an obvious example, but Deshaun Jackson of PHI, aside from his premature antics, has spread the field for PHI making defenses scared of the three-headed beast that McNabb-Westbrook-Jackson form. Washington…well, they never draft. Ever. I’m pretty sure Dan Snyder is allergic to draft picks, given his consistent ability to give them away to anyone with *insert late-twenties superstar here*. Looking at these moves, New York is the only team to really not be directly impacted by their draft, and last year’s drafting of Sinorice Moss, Santana Moss’s younger brother, is working on keeping NY’s bench nice and warm. Still though, NY’s lack of fresh talent hasn’t hurt them that badly I suppose…the zero’s in the loss column, after all.

Tomorrow: NFC North and…oh god…do I really have to write about the Lions? Crap.